Author: jb

I tend to use leather tanned with plant extracts rather than with chromium but then I wondered if it’s really a more responsible choice once trees are cut and processed?

Yes. Even with all of the processing, it produces less toxic waste water and is much, much healthier for the humans who work in the tanning industry.

The biggest difference when working with the two is that I can hand-dye vegetable tanned leather. It can also be embossed with things like lettering. I’m not saying Chrome can’t be hand-dyed, I just am not set up with those chemicals and choose not to be for my own health. Chrome also cannot be embossed.

Chrome-tanned leather, on the other hand, has the advantage of being produced in a wide range of patterns and colors. So if you want leapard-print, Hello Kitty, camo or flowers, Chrome is the way to go.

I can hand-dye some types of patterns, but they will have an organic feel because the dyes like to spread a little on the surface of the leather, so my plaids and stripes have a loose and casual feel.

Leather choices are vast, from tanning processes, animal, thickness of hide, where on the animal the pieces for your project are cut, etc. but we can talk more about this in person.

I tend to work with cow leather and cut from all areas of the hide depending on the final effect we want. Cows scratch their itches on fence posts, stumble, get in fights and live their lives. Some of this is reflected in their hide and these marks can be taken advantage of or cut away. I also tend to work with thicker hides for most of my pieces except shaped work like a jock pouch where comfort and pliability are a good thing.

Lastly, I hope you will feel free to live out your kinks in our wide world. So I tend to avoid those beautiful $500 Italian hides. They just don’t hold up well when you’re tied to a tree or mashed against an alley wall.

But let’s chat about your kinks and what gear helps you get to the headspace you want. After all, that’s what it’s all about.

A few do, but most are humans trying their best…or maybe they suck in the good way.

I was told something by my daughter’s therapist years ago: “everyone is doing the best they can at any moment.” That was a mind-blowing concept. Very few people are trying to be less. Of course some are openly manipulative knowing it’s a shitty thing, but that’s a tiny portion of humanity. Some people are carrying trauma…and manipulation is a coping mechanism. Every real person on the apps deserves respect and compassion, even if want to be sucked into their behaviors. It’s not your job to understand where their behaviors come from but it might make everyone feel a bit better when you type, “We’re not a match, but thanks.”

Rejection is a fact of life. Give it and receive it with humor and humility.

Everyone on the apps has their own rules for how they think the apps should be used and how people should behave. Some never want to be greeted with “sup”. Some won’t chat if they haven’t received a face pic without being asked. Some won’t talk if you’re not packing more than 9″. Let them have their rules and move on. The nice guys are out there.

No pics? Understand that they might be navigating fear and self-loathing (don’t we all?)

Crass opening lines like “Hung?” Ok. Maybe lacking social skills doesn’t have to mean they’re bad people. Maybe their fetishizing? Yeah. Probably. Just respond that you’re 12 inches with unmedicated E.D.

Talk to guys like you want to be spoken to. Not preaching here. Just found my peace by being at peace.

By all means, don’t be afraid to say, “Thanks for your interest but we’re not a match.” Respectful closure is a beautiful thing to behold.

The apps are a ripe field for frustration. Go in knowing that; and treat these humans as humans. Don’t buy their crypto, don’t get sucked into their hole, be polite and respectful, and move on when you need to.

Flakes who don’t show? Maybe their kink is imaging sexual interaction without the courage to follow through. Maybe they are caught in that constant state of competition; always shopping for a God and missing out on real connection. Or maybe they’re not experienced enough to have been hurt by this treatment. It’ll happen. They’ll learn their lesson. And that makes me feel a tiny bit better when it happens to me.

Ever wonder where the gender symbols came from? There are a few theories but most agree they’ve come to us from the God of War and the Goddess of Love and Beauty.

There are two basic routes by which we come to the same conclusion. First, the symbols are drawings of the defining features of the Roman’s deities Mars (god of war) and Venus (goddess of love and beauty).

A sub-rationale I find pretty funny (and grossly demeaning) is that the female symbol is Venus’ hand mirror celebrating her narcissism.

The second route is that the symbols evolved from the Greek alphabet and their written abbreviations for the planets we call Mars and Venus. Those Greek names are Thouros and Phosphoros, respectively.

Now it gets fun…because as we modern souls have come to know ourselves better we’re no longer able to universally find expression in these symbols. We’ve evolved those symbols to reflect our identities and self knowledge. This is just a subset.

And since all of this is just humans finding self expression, I nominate these two symbols to our lexicon:

So now I’m going set down my marker and get another coffee.

(Please never take anything I say as fact.
Blogs are not new sources.
Always seek news and facts from credible, vetted, rigorous sources.)

Absolutely.

We’re all fetishized in some way or another.

We are all of us labeled according to someone else’s hierarchy of our characteristics.

Whether you’re a Chubb, a Dad Bod, have a bubble butt, or are black, muscular, short, a twink, a grandfather, a fem, trans, Asian, short, tall, or hairy…the list is seemingly endless.

And many humans are really good at using these categories to diminish, to make you feel shame and rejection, and they can all be taken back and used as a point of strength.

Take back your labels and discover how they can be a source of strength and confidence. Hand’s down, the sexiest aspect of someone is their confidence (unless they’re an ass about it.)

Exploring your kinks is a great way to own who you are, in all your complexity and despite how other’s want to accept or reject based on one characteristic.

And for God’s sake, if you find someone hot because of their attributes, let ’em know it. Everyone likes to hear it. Doing it on your knees is more convincing.

(Please never take anything I say as fact.
Blogs are not new sources.
Always seek news and facts from credible, vetted, rigorous sources.)